Someone I knew as a child, was molested by her uncle and he was about to be arrested for it.
Her grandma told her,if you don't say to those people you lied,you won't have a family anymore.

I see someone gave me a 1 star. But this is very true. I just wonder how anyone can think like that?!

I think especially older people are afraid of shame on the family name.

Kinda sad that a name seems more important than the safety of a child, don't you think?

Don't mind the one star voter lol... usually around this time..

Grandma is right, but that does not negate the crime. So terrible that a child must grow up and make that choice.

Disturbed  Wrote:

I think especially older people are afraid of shame on the family name.

Kinda sad that a name seems more important than the safety of a child, don't you think?

Don't mind the one star voter lol... usually around this time..

I agree Disturbed

Jackinthebox  Wrote:

Grandma is right, but that does not negate the crime. So terrible that a child must grow up and make that choice.

I agree with you too Jack. Except the part about Grandma.
What did you mean?

almost all child abuse is done by people within trusted positions> only they can get close to and are trusted with the child. So most often it is family members and close family friends. This media moral panic about pedo's and strangers is bollocks really. At school we had lessons and watched videos about avoiding 'strangers' and what to do if you are approached by ' a stranger'. Of course we were too young to know what these strangers wanted to do with us.

Strangers are not the biggest risk to kids, never have been never will be. It is the people they know and are close to that are the risk.

This wasted time could have been better spend discussing things like what is appropriate touching etc and what is not, and what rights as a child we have to our personal space. But they would never teach that back then. Some fucker in a moral panic would have burned the school down to prevent them 'corrupting kids' or 'robbing innocence'. The media would have had a field day, letters pages would be full of condemnation from all walks of society. Religious groups would have set up writing circles to ensure this.

The further back you go, the greater the taboo about anything sexual was, and the greater the avoidance on everyone's part to face up to things like abuse.

They just couldn't handle it I guess. Particularly this is very true for Christian family's. I know I am from one, and every Christian family has a skeleton in the cupboard that they doj't like to talk about.

Christian family or not, often the child is not believed, or just not heard. I don't think it is because of a need to hide it, but just an inability to deal with it.

In many cases of abuse that happened a generation ago ( twenty five to 35 years ago) it has taken the victims until now be fully accepted as telling the truth back then. For two reasons

1. due to the strength of position they have now ( there own lives, there own families, there own financial independence, a history of always telling the truth, and the personal strength to say FUCK it, this is your lie, not mine, it is your shame, not mine)

2. because the older generations are catching up with today's attitudes regarding talking about such stuff. It is no longer a taboo.

3. Society is less family orientated today. By family i mean larger family.

So op...Granny was not a bitch. Just from a different era. One where one did not talk about such things. Which is why they happened even more back then than they do now. The more we talk about abuse the safer kids become.

Jackinthebox  Wrote:

Grandma is right, but that does not negate the crime. So terrible that a child must grow up and make that choice.

Grandma is right? The child should lie to ensure that her safety will continue to be violated? What rock are you currently living under?

Pixie  Wrote:

Someone I knew as a child, was molested by her uncle and he was about to be arrested for it.
Her grandma told her,if you don't say to those people you lied,you won't have a family anymore.

The grandma believed her, she just didn't want to see her son in prison. How about having a family intervention? Maybe that would scare uncle straight.

Have you ever considered the possibility that some of the accusations by children or teenagers of molestation by a family member may be a lie -- a way of the kid striking out at a particular adult; "getting even" for something that the grownup did?

False memory syndrome is bullshit created by the perps that were being told on.

x  Wrote:

False memory syndrome is bullshit created by the perps that were being told on.

And you know this because of the several research studies supporting your assertion -- which you would be glad to share with us?

Anonymous Coward  Wrote:

Jackinthebox  Wrote:

Grandma is right, but that does not negate the crime. So terrible that a child must grow up and make that choice.

Grandma is right? The child should lie to ensure that her safety will continue to be violated? What rock are you currently living under?

I never said the child should lie. But she will destroy/lose her family. Like I said, a terrible choice for a child to have to make.

I know a woman in her 30's who still lives at home with her father, and two sisters. None of them drive, they wait on him hand and foot. I believe that her and her older sister have been being molested by their father since they were kids. I don't think the youngest sister has been touched, but has seen her sisters be abused. Really fuckin strange situation there.

Usually it is the child's fault it happened in the first place. Maybe they were giving mixed signals, etc.